Robinhood Chain · Five vaults · The hourly run
A memecoin with a stock habit.
Trade SMEG on Robinhood Chain. Fees buy real fractional stocks. Hold enough for long enough, clear the vaults, and the higher you climb the wider the basket gets.
Your SMEG never leaves your wallet.
Not at Vault 1 yet? The burn doesn't care.
Buy it. Hold it. See what drips. Unwashed. Unbothered. Unsold.
Vault 1 · Common · Squeeze the SmegYour bag stays put
SMEG sits in your wallet. We read the chain. We don't need your bag.
The Drip
Clear a vault and that stock joins the hourly run. No button-mashing simulator required.
The Burn
Every trade can buy SMEG back and kill it. Less SMEG. Same gremlin.
The Tank
Every trade also feeds the permanent stock reserve behind the vaults. Quiet market? Tank's still there.
Bag + clock
Five vaults. Five clocks. Five stocks. Clear one and one ticker is in play. Clear four and you have got four. The old vaults do not switch off. They stack.
| # | Art | Vault | Pays in | Hold | Weight | Min SMEG | Holders | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |  | Squeeze the Smeg | HIMS | 1h | 1.00× | 1,000,000 | 1 | View vault |
| 2 |  | No Bath, No Brain | JNJ | 3h | 1.50× | 4,000,000 | 0 | View vault |
| 3 |  | Anatomy of a SMEG Holder | PFE | 6h | 1.96× | 10,000,000 | 0 | View vault |
| 4 |  | We Smeg Past It | COST | 12h | 2.55× | 25,000,000 | 0 | View vault |
| 5 |  | In Smeg We Trust (Gold Nut) | LLY | 24h | 3.20× | 50,000,000 | 0 | View vault |
More bag. More age. Wider basket.
A vault only counts SMEG that has sat still long enough to clear its own bar. There are 5 windows (1h, 3h, 6h, 12h, 24h), and selling resets the clock on the balance you sold.
1.25% of every trade buys SMEG on the open market and destroys it. Not locked, not vested. Gone.
No supply history to chart yet. The line appears once there is a burn to plot.
$0.00 of stock sitting permanently behind the five vaults. Each reserve pays out 1% of itself per day, forever, and nobody can withdraw it, so the vaults keep paying when trading goes quiet.
SMEG isn't “hit 1M or nothing happens”. There are a few bits turning at once.
Drip
Trading buys stocks. Vault holders get them.
Burn
Trading buys SMEG. Then kills it.
Climb
Hold the bag. Let it age. Clear more clocks.
Survive
Trading builds the permanent endowment. The tank is designed to keep dripping when things go quiet.
Trade → Burn → Age → Climb → Drip → Tank → Again
Under 1M? You are not in Vault 1 yet. The burn and the endowment are protocol-wide and run on trading, not on your balance. That is a supply mechanic, not a promise about price.
Buy SMEG
Any amount. It lands in your wallet like any other token.
Let the bag age
Every vault has a bag line and a clock: one hour at the entry, a full day at the top.
Stock turns up
On the hour, trading fees buy real fractional stock and push it to your address. Nothing to sign. No claim button.
Tokenomics
- 1.00B SMEG launch supply · circulating falls with the burn
- 4% per trade: the launchpad's 1% pool fee, plus a 3% tax — 1.25% vault endowment, 1.25% buyback-and-burn, 0.5% dev
- LP locked at launch · operator key cannot move your SMEG
What happens when you sell
Selling reduces your qualifying balance and resets the holding age on the part you sold. Your SMEG never leaves your wallet and nothing is ever frozen. You can sell any time, you just stop qualifying.
The Drip
0 payouts sent. Stock arrives on its own. No claim button. Thank Christ.
See the delivery log →Read the vaults. Read the plumbing. Then decide if this is your kind of stupid.
Figures are read from the chain · a dash means it could not be read